Repost of "Be A Sport" from The World's Best Blog

Boy I was smart back in 2007 ;-).  Seriously though, I do feel strongly about these posts and do not want to lose them.  They were my thoughts at the time and I still believe there is value to them.  This is my last copy from The World's Best Blog - tonight.  I wrote all of these, for you, my family.  Please take a few minutes to read them.  They are a letter, a word of advice, an idea, from me to you. I wrote this one on Oct. 10, 2007.

When I was young a famous ad showed the big muscular guy on the beach kicking sand in the face of the “90 pound weakling” and then walking away with the weakling’s shapely girl friend. Of course the ad was for muscle building equipment and supplies. Well I was that guy – the 90 pound weakling. I felt totally inadequate in anything to do with physical competition and so I avoided almost all sports and especially team sports, where I was always the last to be chosen when it came time to pick teams. Of course I always did a poor job and gave the other guys plenty of opportunity to laugh at my weakness and lack of abilities. I think I have an explanation for all that now – See the post called “90% mental and 90% mental” below. Because of my weakness I never encouraged my children in team sports like I should have. Without even realizing it I probably expected them to fail like I had and so I unknowingly sabotaged their efforts. Our oldest son, Wade, has done a great job of encouraging his children in team sports. I recognize now that having at least some success in teams sports can be an important part of growing up. Wade and Lori have discovered a real passion for soccer, particularly in one of their daughters. They have sacrificed a great deal of time and money to make sure she has every opportunity for success. At the same time they have encouraged their other children without brow beating them. Helping your children succeed in sports requires loving them and encouraging them. If I had it to do over again, here are some things I would try real hard to do, especially in their early years:

1. I would buy, or borrow, or beg, or whatever it took, to get more sports equipment around the house.
2. I would spend less time in front of the TV and more time outside using that sports equipment.
3. Whenever I saw my children do anything even remotely well, or slightly better than they had done it last time I would praise them, sometimes lavishly, but always praise.
4. If I saw something they were struggling with I would NEVER point it out to them, but I would find a way to help them learn it and practice it and praise improvement.
5. I would find a coach who LOVED the kids more than the game or the sport. A coach who’s joy came from watching them learn and improve and to whom winning the game was not as important as each child being better and happier. (If I couldn't find such a coach, I'd have to recruit or be one and then recruit help from someone who knew the sport.)
   
6. I would encourage my child in the sport they loved, not the ones I thought they should be good at.
7. I would openly praise every child on the team, all the while making sure that my child knew he/she was the most important player to me and NEVER comparing him/her to any other player.
8. After the game when I had my child away from the rest of the team I might point out great plays from both teams, always pointing out more good things he/she had done.
9. I would never say anything negative about their coach where there is any chance my child would hear it, and only then if it was to find a solution to any problem.
10. I would recognize that a different way is not necessarily a wrong way.
11. The only time I would say negative would be in the case of poor sportsmanship. My child would know that poor sportsmanship in any form, by anyone, was unacceptable.

Any sport can be a team sport if people are working together, under a coach, for a common goal. Besides Basketball, Soccer, Football and baseball, there’s volleyball, water sports, tennis, golf, etc.

Organized sports, when properly administrated and coached, promotes health, athleticism, exercise habits, proper respect for our bodies, teamwork, sportsmanship, goal setting, work ethic, and many other positive attributes.

When I first started putting my thoughts together on this topic, Jeanne asked me what I was writing about. When I told her it was about encouraging involvement in sports in our children she wisely reminded me that today many people get overly rapped up in it, hence the common description of the Soccer Mom and the mini van. It is so important that we remember “moderation in all things”. Never allow yourself to lose sight of the purpose of your involvement, as enumerated in the paragraph above. When winning at sports becomes the end all and only purpose it can easily lead to an obsession. Suddenly instead of athleticism, exercise habits and proper respect for our bodies, we have the use of dangerous substances to enhance performance. Instead of sportsmanship, goal setting and work ethic, we have cheating and dishonesty, and instead of positive experiences we have a downward negative spiral.

Last, but certainly not least, sports must never be a substitute for good academics. Sports is a great tool to enhance our soul and mind, but it must always be kept in its proper perspective.